


Warmth

by ShadowSelene (Shadowdianne)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 19:53:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18372962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowdianne/pseuds/ShadowSelene
Summary: Sq prompt - one is scared of entering a relationship with the other as they are asexual and think the other won't like that.Asked by anon





	Warmth

**Author's Note:**

> I would want to thank yaminoendo for helping me with this one. I didn’t want to either fall into tropes or poorly-worded scenarios and his help shaped a lot of what I’ve written for this one. So, Endo, you can be evil but you are surely the best evil one that’s out there.

 

“This feel strange.”

The words left Emma softly, and she could almost swear she was able to see them, floating above both of her and Regina as they sat in the brunette’s couch. Afternoon light was already starting to dull outside; the once bright yellow muted orange that fell from the windows and she could feel the residual warmth touching her bent knee. At her side, legs tucked beneath her and one glass of cider being nursed into her hands, Regina chuckled just as soft.

The brunette didn’t ask what “this” was Emma thinking about, she didn’t need it and the blonde could feel an almost blush starting to burn the tips of her ears as she stretched and picked up her own glass, almost empty but still cold to the tips of her fingers as she grasped it.

It was still strange, she thought, taking a sip of the drink before lowering it, letting her hands cradle it at her lap as she lolled her head back, hitting the back of the couch. The calmness she felt now paired up against the rage, the hurt, the guilt, she had felt after she had been told that Regina was back, the aftershocks of the magic that had united the realms more than telling enough. She hadn’t known what to do, where to go, who to talk to, and so she had started to walk, a hasty call to Snow later and the promise that she would be there for Hope in a few hours.

She didn’t exactly remember how she had ended up in front of Regina’s house, the details of how a person now lived in what had almost transformed into a ghost-ridden hause, full of memories Emma wasn’t able to unpack, much more present than Emma would have imagined it. And yet, despite the anxiousness she had felt coiling inside her stomach, she had knocked on the door. Once, twice, before Regina had opened it, eyes still gleaming purple and clothes fitting but not exactly, as she took a step back, letting her enter without a word.

_“You left!”_

_“You didn’t come with us.”_

Screams had quickly quieted down and then there had only been sobs and far too quiet admissions wrapped up in bursts of dirty white and purple, grey and gold.

“I had never considered the possibility.”

Regina’s voice was laced with sadness and Emma nodded at it, knowing that the same could be said for her own perception of what had happened in the foyer less than half an hour ago; when Regina had cut the distance with a few sharp steps, a call to old days she had learnt to tuck and hide. But then, just as Regina had bared her teeth, readying herself, maybe, Emma’s mouth had betrayed her; pouring everything out in a blast of emotions she had been blinded by it.

_“I love you.”_

And so there they were, sitting in Regina’s couch, cider and space but not really between them, tales of their time apart coloring the air; explanations of a divorce buzzing on Emma’s ears as she wriggled her ring-free fingers. She could feel Regina’s magic a few inches away, dripping almost out of the brunette and she sucked on her breath; the instant reply Regina had given her after her admission one that clung to her heart. The one that it was supposed to be protected, the one that no one should be able to pluck out just as Henry’s was.

“Are we going to try…”

She would chuckle at herself at any other given moment, at the way she spoke. As if their feelings were a mere list of questions. This, them, had been happening for a really long time. Far too long.

Yet, Regina humored her with a raise of her brow, one of her hands skimming up her shoulder, pulling the fabric of the jumper Emma wore until the blonde shivered, the pressure of Regina’s nails embedding themselves into memory.

“You can say “ _dating”_ dear, I doubt anyone but me is going to hear.”

Emma let out a broken chuckle at this, at the way Regina smiled at her, still guarded but far too soft. A mix, a strange one, of multiple personalities, almost all recognizable and yet one that wasn’t. Emboldened perhaps by the way she could see herself on Regina’s eyes, sparkles coloring the brown, reflecting the dirty white she could feel building just beneath her skin, Emma grasped Regina’s hand, interlacing her fingers with hers, lowering their hands so she could watch them, focus on them.

She had destroyed herself, a cold voice, one that sounded far too close to that had filled her completely during her dark one days, echoed in the back of her mind. She had taken every piece of her that made her her and shoved it all on a very tight space, confined within her mind. She had forgot how to breathe the moment she had finally crossed the portal, a far too heavy hand on her shoulders and regret already threatening to spill out of herself. She would have never imagined that she would be able to make amends. To look Regina in the eye. To tell her that she, at the end, was in love with her.

And yet.

When she spoke again her voice wasn’t as soft and her breathing was labored, nerves starting to coil on her stomach as she considered the possibility of not speaking at all; to remain mute.

But she needed to do it, a warmer voice whispered within her. For herself.

“Before that happens there is something I would like to tell you about.”

She still could pretend that her worries were about something else entirely, she could still smile and move on, grasp the opportunity that Regina seemed eager to fall into; with still far too many conversations needing to happen, still far too many explanations hanging between them, born in the years they both had pretended to not see when the other’s eyes lingered, unanswered admissions on their eyes. Yet, Regina eyed her silently, her skin warm and pulsing beneath her fingers and Emma shook her head, pushing herself, biting her own tongue, making herself speak.

What if, however, what if after everything…

She stopped that train of thought, thinking on Hope, on afternoons spent with her and the woman she now has in front of her. Her magic reacted to the images, crackling and scaping her skin, burying itself into Regina’s, a soft gasp escaping the brunette’s lips as it happened.

“I’m asexual.”

She had learnt over time that there never was a perfect moment to say it, but the word still echoed clearly inside the room. Brown eyes traveling up from their hands to their face, Regina halted, waiting. And while nothing had changed Emma could feel her skin prickling, as if she was about to combust, as if her very cells were on fire, about to burst.

“It’s not the first time I’ve said it out loud.” And it truly wasn’t but she still let out a lopsided smile, the kind of one that she always reserved for memories brought from a time in that liminal space that existed on her mind before Henry had knocked on her door, all uncomfortable truths and destiny written all over his face. “It’s the first time in a really long time though. And…” She took a deep intake of breath.

She was overthinking this, everything. She had been doing so for the past few years; always weary, always on edge, always doubtful.

“I wanted…” She shook her head. “I needed you to know.”

Regina exhaled and splayed her fingers over hers, their conjoined magic traveling up their forearms, flame-shaped currents that etched themselves into their skin. Emma’s bristling, Regina’s calming. Still tensing, Emma felt the familiar terror beginning to settle at the back of her mouth as silence stretched, a thousand of different explanations about to fall from her; a thousand other ways in where she could pretend or feign for Regina’s sake already taking form.

“Emma.” The word was said in a gentle tone and Regina moved her hand up Emma’s arm, her fingers tickling whenever they grazed the inner side of her wrist, the soft skin beneath her elbow.

“Have I ever done something that made you uncomfortable?”

The question undid the blonde; at the quiet doubt but open look on the brunette’s eyes; at the even quieter “stop” that seemed to slip through the cracks. She shouldn’t need to pretend. She didn’t want to.

Smiling despite her nerves, her memories recreated in a collage just behind her eyelids as she blinked slowly, the blonde shook her head. Once, twice.

“No, never.”

Hand traveling further up, back to her shoulder, her neck, her cheek, Regina scooted closer; something swimming on her eyes, the same kind of something Emma had seen on her eyes back at the townline, back when Regina had almost scarified herself as the Chernabog charged: worry and guilt and love.

“And now?”

Her voice was like satin and Emma breath hitched at it, at the way Regina kept eyeing her, the previous tension in the room gone and a strange sense of something, the same something that could have happened back at Robin’s apartment returning in full force.

“No.”

Nodding, the brunette moved forward, lowering her hand once more, grasping Emma’s and turning it, palm up, before kissing her skin there.

“Thank you for telling me.”

Emma knew there were other questions they would probably need to take further down the line, multiple other times in where she would feel about to come apart, but she now felt drunk on the kiss, on Regina’s eyes on her. Not as someone in the wrong, but just as her, just Emma.

And she found that she liked that. Very much.


End file.
